Summer 2007 An Edge For You

Dear Reader,

You will find a lot of content packed into this newsletter. Not exactly light reading for the summer months. I leave it up to you to either read this now, or after the holidays. If you are already enjoying your holiday, there will be a short reminder at the end of the summer, including some key points so that you don't miss out. If you are NOT on holiday yet, I want to let you know about my FREE "Create Your Self Development Masterplan" summer workshop I am organizing with the British Chamber of Commerce on July 17th. Save the date, and feel free to invite friends. More details below.

Coaching is, at the end of the day, about identifying those questions that lead to truly useful answers . This issue is about individual management and leadership myths that guide our thoughts and actions undeservedly, and thus limit our impact as managers. Why this is worthwhile reading? In my coaching practice, I regularly witness my clients' relief when they expose a belief for the myth it was. Getting it out of the way creates space for better-serving, less restricting beliefs that don't create double binds for others.

So how do you know if you work by such myths? Simply use this question as a first litmus test: "Do the assumptions I work by energize me, and inspire me to go into every new work day with a smile?" If yes, your beliefs are your drivers. In this case, DON'T CHANGE anything! But if this is not how you feel about your job and role, have a look below. Maybe you'll find one or two myths that you have allowed to confuse your common sense, and which have started working against you, instead of FOR you. When you have identified a possible self-sabotage strategy, make sure to unmask it and get it out of your life!

MYTHS AND DOUBLE BINDS

Before I get to the myths, let me introduce the concept of paradoxes and double binds. Even if you have never heard about Bateson or his classical concept of a double bind, you will FEEL that something is very wrong in the sentence "Do what I told you but only do it because you want to"! The essence of a double-bind is two conflicting demands, neither of which can be ignored, which leave the victim torn in such a way that whichever demand they try to meet, the other demand cannot be met. "I must do it, but I can't do it" is a typical description of the double-bind experience. For a double bind to be effective, the victim cannot plainly see that the demand placed on them by the primary injunction is in direct conflict with the secondary injunction. In this sense the double bind differentiates itself from a simple Catch-22 to a more inexpressible internal conflict. Interestingly, double binds are very often not even expressed verbally. And yet they contaminate our work atmospheres, and also create manipulative communications in many homes.

General characteristics of a double-bind relationship include:
(1) that the victim is involved in an intense relationship; that is, a relationship in which he feels it is vitally important that he discriminate accurately what sort of message is being communicated so that he may respond appropriately,
(2) the victim is caught in a situation in which the other person in the relationship is expressing two orders of message and one of these denies the other; and
(3) the victim is unable to comment on the messages being expressed to correct his discrimination of what order of message to respond to, i.e., he cannot make a metacommunicative statement.

Now none of this is carved in stone. With the right support, you can tackle every single part of the equation, allowing you to replace a vague frustration with clear awareness, and with that awareness, gain the ability to recognise and escape the patterns that have been stealthily draining your motivation and energy.

My clients are smart and insightful people, and quite able to solve their problems themselves - in fact that is what they do with probably more than 99,5 % of their problems. However, once they have trapped themselves in double binds ( "I have to, but I can't" ) or ingrained assumptions ( "This is how it must be" ) solutions suddenly seem to be nowhere in sight, and it makes sense to talk with a coach, to get back in the driver's seat.

Typical managerial double binds that trapped my clients include the following:

• "I want a robust company with clear structures and systems in place... AND I want my people to be customer-oriented and flexible, and of course to cooperate synergistically."
• "I need my team to do exactly what I want, but I want them to believe they came up with it themselves; AND at the same time I need them to show more initiative and think more independently…"
• "I need my managers to be top experts in their fields... AND I expect them to be professionals who support and develop their team/direct reports."
• a variation on this: "I must be the leading expert in my field... AND I need to develop a team of competent, self-accounting professionals"

FOCUS: MANAGEMENT MYTHS

A myth (mythos) in the literal sense is a sacred story concerning the origins of the world or how the world and the creatures in it came to have their present form. The active beings in myths are generally gods and heroes. In popular use, a myth denotes something that is widely believed but false. This usage arose from labelling the religious stories and beliefs of other cultures as being incorrect, but has spread to cover non-religious beliefs. Mythology is probably more expected in the study of subjects like home remedies, the weather, and history than management. But in the absence of awareness of their "personal" myths, many managers are prone to render decisions within an environment of fiction, legend, or pseudo-professionalism - or simply make their lives unnecessarily difficult…

Interestingly, these myths have different origins: some of them have an exclusive association with the field of management while others are linked to existing social values. But the most important ones to rule our behaviour most relentlessly are our - often unreflected - role expectations and self-image. Even though you probably won‘t agree with every single one, and may well be labouring under a myth not covered here, I hope that these thoughts will inspire you to re-examine your managerial philosophy; fact or fiction. Remember - demythologizing the management profession can have a real impact on your organisation, through having an impact on you . So just take the bits and pieces that seem useful and relevant to you - and translate them into actions!

“I have to do it all myself” and “nobody can do this as well as I can”

Not necessarily! Remember the last newsletter? This was one of the points that inspired me for this issue 's topic : some of the "bad habits" described there really were "myths" - and thus have very different remedies ! If you are surrounded by competent people with their brains switched on, you can let them do the work. That is, if you have a good briefing to get their thinking in the right direction! Many managers still believe they should be the ones who could do everything better than their team members, if asked to do so. Although this myth can be easily exposed, it can do a lot of harm, nagging at these managers' consciences and ultimately diminishing the quantity and quality of output for which they are ultimately responsible.

So, once you know this is not part of your personal double bind, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you always want to be 100% responsible for generating all of your income (trading time for money)?
• Can you imagine yourself doing what you're currently doing (all by yourself) twenty years from now?
• Can you imagine developing your business (or career) in a way that both sustained you and that was fun? Can you see that by doing this you could make a bigger contribution and help a lot more people?
• Is that belief really serving you or simply maintaining a sense of illusory control?
• What could be a good-enough goal that you would consider giving up this belief for?

“I first have to earn their respect by showing that I know better. Once I convince them I am their rightful boss, things will get easier.”

Oh right. Aren't you expecting rather a lot from your people - specifically, a very high level of self-reflection? Just how realistic is it to expect someone with 20 years' experience in his field to accept a new boss with a completely different background? If you really want to link your feeling of success and contribution to the unreflected evaluation of a loosely defined group with shifting criteria, please go ahead. And do tell me if this works for you. You may be the first success story :-).

A client of mine believed that he had to earn the respect of his colleagues, technicians. As a marke­ting-sales oriented person, when I asked him how likely he thought this was - in other words, did these people have or want to gain enough insight into his role and qualities, given that they had spent years or even decades negating the importance of sales and marketing? It took him a split second to expose this as unrealistic. Two minutes for a huge relief that since then, no longer rules his actions.

A variation of this myth is the feeling that even very senior managers (especially plant managers, for some reason) believe that they really, truly, should know every job (and every machine) in their organisation - if only they had the time. A variation: that they can't expect from their colleagues what they themselves are not able to do. This is the wrong way of applying a highly valid principle: You need to set the pace where mindset, values, and business principles are concerned, but not where concrete skill sets are concerned. On the contrary: you delegate or outsource the very things that you needn't or can't do well enough yourself. That is the very essence of the division of labour!
If you want to unmask this myth, ask yourself

• What is your unique selling point (USP) in your team/organisation (which others will NOT readily give you credit for, even in the unlikely event they fully realize that quality)
• What are you really, truly paid for - and how can you make that even more of your USP? Once you have that list, you'll know where you need to show others you know better. And then: forget about the rest!

"I have to motivate my people better”

Contrary to what a lot of well-meaning people will tell you, I do not believe your job as a manager is to motivate your people. I think it is everybody's job to motivate themselves - after all, you want co-workers who are aware they have entered into a contract with your organisation, and are able to come to you if they feel there are serious discrepancies between their expectations and reality… so you can do something about that. This would make your role encouraging and rewarding such behaviour (and "this is your problem" is obviously not the answer when someone comes!).

I believe that if you do not DE-MOTIVATE people, you will probably be all right. This means protecting them from too much politics from above and creating or maintaining systems that allow for some degree of flexibility and creativity. And: keeping an open ear for the cases where something has gone wrong.

We know from research that some 29% of the workforce are actively engaged, and some 54% are not. This obviously also includes people who are seriously suffering from concerns that invariably look petty to all but the directly concerned. Human nature, that! A quarrel or misunderstanding in the department, a personal sensitive spot, or a lack of respect... Here, having your eyes open while being approachable is a key skill. A manager should expect people around him to behave like grown-ups, and look carefully into situations where this isn't the case. On the other hand, the company's cafeteria system booklet is no manager's bible! You can ask yourself:

• How can you make them understand that you expect people around you to have decided for themselves that (and why) they want to work with you?
• Are you giving them enough big-picture information as to foster their strategic thinking and initiative?

“I can’t give them the whole picture.”

Do you sometimes think, "Don't tell them too much - especially when there are problems"? Are you afraid you might worry (or lose) them? Wait a moment - this is more than just overprotective, this is a little patronizing. Maybe it helps to remember that these poor dears are grown-ups and manage to raise children and build houses, all completely without you J . How can you treat your employees like partners, when you screen off the more uncomfortable bits of reality - YOUR reality? John Case writes in The Open-Book Management Experience, "They concern themselves not just with doing their jobs, but with the business objectives of the company". Case gives instance after instance of companies whose performance was transformed by open-book management. This is one powerful way to nip the "don't tell them too much about the real situation" myth in the bud. It is nonsense. If you treat your people like children, don't be surprised if they behave like children. We know how self-absorbed children are. Being surrounded by self-absorbed people is more than a little problematic if you are trying to run a business! Carefully look into your assumption, because chances are you will find a double bind at work… If not, try these questions:

1. Does everyone see and understand the real numbers, operational and financial, by which the company is run (meaning everything from units shipped and gross margins to objectives, budgets and actual performance against plan)?
2. Does everybody know what this means for their position - and is everybody held responsible for their own part in achieving performance?
3. Does everyone benefit from bonus payments tied to performance targets?
4. What of the above can you start implementing TODAY?
5. (if none of the above seem relevant to you:) Is there something you allow myself to be associated with that you don't want anybody else to see and put their finger on? Are you showing enough self-respect? Or are you pretending not to see the huge pink elephant in your office?

“Feelings don’t belong in business.”

That's right. Your (or others') personal feelings about personal things. But personal feelings about business do belong - in fact, they are impossible to filter out. They can be the base for a sustained buy-in, enthusiasm and motivation. People who are not actively engaged in what they do don't have emotions. Chances are that they just sit there, looking to YOU for motivation. Who wants to have that? Feelings are everywhere, because they are part of what our brain creates... We should learn to live with this, instead of trying to ignore this. Everybody knows how it "feels" to work in your company, department, and team. And: most people also know what a huge impact on everybody's performance this feel makes. Simply denying this by looking elsewhere doesn't make this fact go away! What you can do:

• Encourage everybody to take care of their own feelings and motivation, especially by deciding if and why they want to work with you.
• Ask yourself which positive feelings (pride, self-esteem, team spirit, etc.) you can use to help people manage their emotions when things get rough.

“It has to be tough, otherwise it’s not worth it.”

Probably each of us can still remember the words of our parents and grandparents as they expressed the belief that hard labour, or its equivalent of many hours' diligent input into our studies etc., was the only key to success. Even today, with technology and all those electronic gadgets, management has not become less time intensive. Instead, it has moved to a mind and energy-intensive activity that requires high amounts of knowledge, information, and mental aptitude greatly in excess of that possessed by (and expected of) our ancestors. Most of us, at some stage, get or got stuck in the "busying oneself" mode - that has lamentably little to do with "being productive"- This myth exposed is what I call "Output vs. Input focus". It is NOT wrong to look for easier ways to do something - and for good reasons why to do it at all. And, for those of us who have teams that are not completely bogged down by ever-present bureaucracy, make sure that your team realises this, too! There is nothing wrong with working smarter, not harder.

A variation of this is the "bitter medicine myth": When it gets easy and effortless, people freak out and prepare for the deluge. This state of hyperactive nervosity is not easy to communicate to one's team… I have seen managers lose many a team member in such moments who, in view of recent successes, and no new apparent dangers and threats in sight, were unable to relate to this angst …. Proactivity is a great thing, but steer clear of neurotic management. It costs you a lot of respect and trust in your judgment.

How to unmask this myth at work? Questions to ask yourself:

• How can I avoid doing just more of the same - resulting in more stress, more work, more anxiety for myself? What can I do to worry less?

“Management is simply a talent – people like me will always struggle.”

We have all had this thought when we were struggling to get our act together, and then watched someone else seemingly effortlessly floating by… But what we didn't see of course was their personal roadmap and what they had been through to ever get to this point. Now if you were thinking, "I am not the charismatic leader type", that's no problem - in fact, you are in excellent company. Most good managers are not exactly charismatic leaders, especially not outside sales and marketing. So I assure you, no problem. But it can become a problem if you allow it to keep you from managing people!

Yes, there are some people who are such good communicators they hardly ever run into serious problems. They simply notice before things turn bad and take instant corrective action. This is definitely a skill to be grateful for - but even those who don't have it naturally (i.e. the rest of us) can develop this skill. It is the kind of muscle that becomes more reliable and less irritable with training. And then there are others who don't really know what to change, because their way of acting seems to make perfect sense to them already. Here the crucial question is: how much sense does it make to other people? We all tend to prefer our own logic over those of others, usually overrating its merits. This seems to be our biological heritage.

So basically, this is all about getting back in the driver's seat. Acknowledge and use the myths where they serve you. And nip them in the bud where they don't - exposing them by asking yourself the suggested questions - and any others that serve their purpose. After all, that is what coaching is about: asking the REAL questions behind those obvious questions that often don't get us very far. It's also about developing analytical abilities, concrete tools, and social skills that are adaptable to complex and changing environments and which improve the effectiveness of human resources. Finally, coaching encourages exploration of the technical and managerial resources that make it possible to maximize existing professional potential.

“It’s in the techniques – I am just not experienced enough yet. This will come with time.”

Prepare yourself for a shock. It won't. The longer you practice something bad, the more difficult it will be to get rid of. Remember to think first about the why and what, then the how! Regular readers of this newsletter know that I am not a big fan of training. But there is nothing inherently wrong with training, and I know some really great trainers. The problem is that most participants have no idea of the "why" and "what" they want and need to learn - so they hope that by addressing the "how", the rest will somehow miraculously fall into place. Failing that, it wasn't the right training, or (always a big temptation) the right trainer.

Sometimes I hear the thought that only people who manage a team are managers. Well - not quite. We are all managing something - our time, resources, AND to an often larger degree than we realize, the time and resources of others. What we really manage is expectations, resources, and opportunities, in addition to managing our own attitude. Anybody can - and has to, at some point - learn and apply principles of good management in order to become as effective as the situation demands. Except of course they never go beyond their expert role. Today's corporate reality is making excessive demands on not just our hierarchical management skills, but also on cross-functional or project teams where there is no clear hierarchy. Yet we have to influence and shape in spite of this: now here we need some serious management and communication skills!

How to unmask this myth at work - ask yourself:

• What do I need to change in my way of thinking about this issue / attitude / self-image so I get these stumbling blocks out of the way?
• In addition to that, what training would help me get there more easily?
• What informal ways of learning (internships, mentors, discussions with peers, etc.) do I have or can I get access to?
• Create your personal self-development masterplan. Why don't you sign up for the July 17th workshop with a friend, since you will be working in pairs?

I would like to end on this note: Most people operate with a mindset that assumes success comes - one - step - at - a - time. The unspoken, but popular notion is that we must move systematically from our present level of achievement to the next. This way of thinking tells us we can begin working toward graduating to the next level in the sequence. We buy into "gradual progress." This misconception is clearly reflected in the way people function. They live day to day, striving to make slow incremental gains in their performance. It becomes pretty routine. While definitely being the pathway of conventional growth, this can turn into a limiting belief when incremental improve­ment just won't do (like a career move, or merger) or any type of crisis.

Advancing at a measured pace, step-by-step from where you are to a little bit better, ordinarily feels easier, more natural and even safer. But in many areas of your life you can just as easily think in terms of skipping levels. You can move from your present level of achievement to one that is several stages higher, directly. You make a "quantum leap": instead of accepting present circumstances or being content with gradual improvement, you go for a breakthrough.

A quantum leap implies an explosive jump in your personal performance, which puts you far beyond the next logical step. The concept is one of exponential gains, rather than incremental progress. You might compare it to multiplying instead of adding - it means a geometric progression in your effectiveness. Quantum leaps are exciting as well as provocative, but it gets better: they can come without apparent effort. These are high velocity moves that carry you to higher performance levels WITHOUT a time-consuming struggle. All this involves is a carefully crafted process that revolves around you. This is clearly not for everyone. Quantum leaps are what my six-month executive coaching package is about.

New Developments on My Side

I would also like to draw your attention to my website – www.an-edge-for-you.com – which got a well-deserved overhaul in May. It now features more case studies, answers more questions and clearly outlines the process for finding the right coach.
Browse through the new version, and let me know what you think of it! I really appreaciate your comments. After all, websites are always work in progress…

 

Calendar of Events

BritCham Workshop – "Create your Self Development Masterplan" on July 17th at the Angelo hotel, Prague ( 8.30-11.30 a.m.)

While everybody agrees that professional development is a part of self development, it is often underestimated what the driving force really is: it is the individual‘s commitment to "their" personal plan! In order to be a real master plan that serves as guidance for months or even years, such a plan has to reflect their priorities, self-image, goals and long-term direction. For this, I insist, you don't need a standard "objective" assessment telling you who you really are. See for yourself what results you get if you work with self-reflection rather than a test key. In this interactive workshop, you will work in pairs and by yourself, and you'll be getting high-impact instructions that can also be an inspiration in many managerial situations.

Whether you are simply curious about yourself, or already wondering what difference working with a coach could make in your career, don't miss this unique opportunity. There will be time for questions about how to fully use your plan in practice. This workshop is hosted by the British Chamber of Commerce, but accessible for non-members for a small fee. Sign up at events@britcham.cz.

 

Preview – In the Next Issue:

… in September, you will read more about one of the following topics:

(1) When role clarity issues get in the way: Ever been "afraid" of your team members’ competence? Afraid that they might leave, or worse, be better than you?

(2) Are women different - or better - managers? What specific challenges do they face in different stages of their careers? Some research and examples from my practice.

Yours,